Let's Talk About Love
by Danielle Solomon (Feb. '01)
When someone says, “I love you,” you get a little jittery for a second. Your brain tries to process the words, wondering what does this person mean? The answer normally falls into one of seven types of love. I’m not saying consider all seven options every time someone tells you they love you, but I’m just saying keep them close at hand. The seven types of love are as follows: Divine, Platonic, Love of Things, Erotic, Romantic, Puppy and True love . To help you further understand the different types, I will elaborate.
Divine love is the most important type of love. It is the love that all other loves should be modeled after. It is the love you have for God and the love that comes from God Himself. God is love. As St. John tells us, “He who does not love does not know God for God is love.” (I John 4:8)
I especially like this passage: “I am the Lord, I have called you righteousness, I will also hold you by the hand and watch over you…” ( Isaiah 42:6 ) This is a very comforting passage for me to read. It means to me that God will always be there for us no matter the sin or action so long as we repent and return to him. You can confess your sins and every action unto God, knowing that He loves us and desires that we turn from our sins. That is one of the many awesome powers of God. He guards and guides us through each day of our entire life. He is only a prayer away and we must remember that. God loves us and watches over us in this lifetime and for all eternity.
This next passage could describe either Divine or Platonic love. “He put a child in the middle of the room. Then, cradling the little one in his arms, he said, ‘Whoever embraces one of these children as I do, embraces me, and far more than me -- God who has sent me.’ ” (Mark 9:36, 37) Even though God is the Creator of all, He is always there to give us strength. We should likewise support and love each other. Only if you love embrace) others can you actually love God. If you treat others with love and respect, you love and respect God.
All of the above passages speak to the meaning of Divine love. Taken as a whole, they say God loves you more than anyone you will ever meet. He wants you to know that when all your hopes and dreams have been shattered and you can’t find meaning in your life, He will be there to love you strongly. He loves us no matter what our sins and faults may be. We are His creations and he cherishes each and every one of us. He is our Heavenly Father and will always be there for us.
As mentioned earlier, there is the love shared between friends and family. This is known as Platonic love. You can care strongly for others, but the relationship isn’t based on physical attraction. I have so many great and wonderful friends who are always there for me through good times or bad to help me. Usually when someone says, “I love you,” you automatically think of love that’s part of a romantic relationship. For example, what happens between a boy and girl when they really get to know each other. However, when I want to thank my friends in a way that means a lot to me I can say, “I love you” without feeling weird about it because I know that they know I love them platonically.
The next type of love isn’t something between two people. Love of things is the kind where we feel strongly about a sport, perhaps a TV show, perhaps a particular dessert. This type of love revolves around materials and activities in the physical world. For example, I love to play soccer. This is something I am passionate about. This type of comment can be distinguished from the simple comment such as when somebody says that they love your hair. They aren’t actually in love with it; they just really like it.
Erotic love is the want for a sexual relationship. This type is usually based on what happens as a result of when a guy or girl gets sexually aroused or is the result of intense physical attraction. This is typically a selfish type of love, as it is about satisfying a personal desire. Furthermore, many people tend to confuse sex as an act of love, when the action and the emotion are not always intertwined (although they should be).
Romantic love is the type of love that is affectionate. You aren’t afraid to show your emotions or feelings for another person in public. Usually this is referred to as Public Show (display) of Affection (PSA). I know I hate to see people in public kissing or displaying themselves in an unreasonable fashion. You don’t need to show the world how much you love someone by displaying yourselves but with other little things. Those are the things that matter the most. Romantic love is also very much a part of true love.
Puppy love is the sense of infatuation, otherwise known as a crush. You only care about how the person looks or what the person does. A majority of people around my age may say they are in love, but they have no clue what the word means. This is basically infatuation. Most adults refer to these relationships as “Puppy Love.” Infatuation usually happens quickly. Due to personal experience, the relationship might feel right at first, but in reality it would never work out. Infatuation is a very jealous type of love. If the other person in the relationship sees you talking with someone else, they might think you are cheating on them, leading them to question your every action. If there is one thing I got out of the long mother-daughter talks, it must be that love at a young age (infatuation) is such an emotional roller coaster. At one moment, things are “too good to be true,” while the next, you’re absolutely crushed. Going up and down like that is enough to get anyone irritated or sick of the relationship.
True love on the other hand requires you to know that person very well. You must trust that person enough to have other friends of the opposite sex and know that they wouldn’t do anything with the other person because they love you. This is what usually hurts the most; you lose that person’s trust and respect. A true love cares about your inner beauty, not just your exterior beauty. It doesn’t lock you up or control you. Love isn’t selfish; it shares you and your qualities with others to enrich everyone’s lives. You feel safe inside their arms. The other person believes in you, making you yourself believe you’re capable of that much more. The world that true lovers live in is practical and realistic. They know how far the relationship can go and accept it.
True love can be defined in one word CARING. Each letter of CARING stands for a different part of love. “C” is Concern. This relates to an individual’s concern for the other’s well-being. You want the best for them. Your concern for them is unselfish. That means you care more about how they succeed than yourself.
“A” stands for acceptance. This incorporates unconditional love, which means you love them despite their faults. Love should not be unconditional. So if someone says to you “I love you but...,” they don’t REALLY love you.
The next letter, “R,” represents responsibility. You make decisions about the relationship that will be best for everyone and not harm anyone. You think before and after an action and take responsibility for the end result, bad or good. Love can say yes, no, or NOT YET. Remember if someone REALLY loves you they won’t push you into doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
“I” means integrity. You are honest and truthful with the other person in the relationship. For that person to trust you, you must be straightforward with them. You don’t put the other person down or make them feel bad about themselves. You see the person for who they truly are and love them for it. No matter what you don’t try to change them.
“N” is nurture. When you love someone, you want the best for them even if it doesn’t benefit you in any way, shape or form. Just seeing them happy makes you happy. You help them grow and mature into the best person he or she can possible be. You stick with them through easy and hard times.
“G” stands for giving. When you give, it involves a risk. For example, you go up to the other person and tell them you love them, you take a risk because you have no clue what their response will be. There are two people in a relationship; therefore, both must give something to benefit another. When you love someone, you give the very best of yourself.
There are many differences between true love and infatuation, but what we all must remember is that we all go through stages in our lives where we think we are in love and we really aren’t. It’s often said that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Even I know that, and I have not yet experienced my life to its fullest. If there is one thing I cannot stress enough, it would be that God will always be there to love each and every one of us, no matter what. “Now I saw a new Heaven and a new earth and God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelations 21: 1-4)
