What are the top three things you don’t understand about the opposite sex? (Sep. ’01)
He Said by Nick Khoury
Many females blame guys for being ignorant. I say that ignorance may be bliss, but regrettably, it is still ignorance. As much as I've tried to understand the opposite sex over the past few years, I still don't understand a lot.
For instance, why do females obsess over TV shows? Now I know that you're thinking, "Guys obsess over sports and stuff." No, there's a difference. Very few, if any, guys I know will watch Sportscenter and retell it again and again the next day, let alone have a nervous breakdown if they missed it. I've seen it so many times -- girls, my age (18), talking in the most serious tone about how dare Dawson dump Joey for someone else (that was a wild guess). These are pre-scripted storylines which have no bearing or impact on the real world! Why not look around yourself and see all the true stories that are unfolding? See the story that God has written, and try to understand your role in it. It's infinitely more interesting, important, and REAL than anything you might watch on television.
Then there's this obsession with makeup. Why do females feel it necessary to hide their true identity? Did it ever occur to them that all they're doing is putting on a mask before they show themselves to society? I can't imagine living like that. I can understand all of the skin-cleaning products because they are simply promoting your skin's health, and not actually covering your skin up. However, a wise man once told me, "You can put makeup on a rhino, but it's still a rhino." It seems strange to me that girls would encourage guys to treat them differently based on their appearance.
Why do females have to play guessing games? From a male standpoint, if you want to tell us something, tell us. Just say it; don't go around the subject or try to cushion your words. Don't expect us to pick up on some underlying message. Basically, be blunt. We don't have fragile emotions that will cause our worlds to crumble if you say something we don't like. We can take it, we're men, we'll get over it, don't worry about it. It's actually worse for us when you aren't straightforward, because then we don't know what's going on. We'll try to figure things out on our own, which will probably bring us to the wrong conclusion, and then it's a bigger mess than it was in the first place.
She Said by Laryssa Grinenko
I know, this should have been the easiest topic to write about. The male species is an enigma to me: I have so many questions. But sitting in front of the computer for what seemed like hours, I came to the conclusion that I had no idea what to write about. I needed inspiration. So where better to find inspiration than from a boy?
Closely watching my male friends, I began noticing a recurring trait. Every time two males encounter one another, both transform into savage beasts. Rather than greeting each other with a handshake or a simple “hello,” they instead begin wrestling, grabbing at each other, and attempting to put each other in a head-lock or some other uncomfortable position. It is almost as if it is a competition between the two: whoever wins is the strongest and therefore the best. I can’t help but wonder why guys always try to beat up on each other to prove who is the strongest?
Later that same day, I came across my next subject. I was writing this article right in the middle of the NBA Finals. It seemed that every other word out of a guy’s mouth was “Lakers” (I live in southern California). It was all that was on anyone’s mind. My guy friends would not go out on game nights. My manicurist wore his Lakers T-shirt every day they had a game; he even had one of those flags on his car. During this time, it seemed that basketball was the only acceptable social issue to discuss with any man. Upon further investigation, it seems that every single man I spoke to had at least one sport that he either watched religiously or took part in; and, in some cases, they did both. The strange thing is that it’s not always the major-league sports that attract the attention of men. In fact, one of my male friends and his father cannot be torn away from the television when a fishing tournament is on the Outdoor Life Network. What is behind this male obsession with sports?
While I was delving into the last topic of confusion, I found that I could not think of that last thing that I really could not understand about guys. That was until I began discussing this article with my boyfriend. Somehow, we got into an intense debate, over what I don’t even remember. No matter how well I proved a point or what evidence I had supporting my claim, I was still wrong. “How is it,” I asked him at the end of our discussion, “that regardless of what I have to say, you are always right and I am always wrong?” Do you know what his response was? “Because I’m the guy!” he exclaimed with a silly grin on his face. So someone please explain to me, why is it that men are the only ones who are allowed to be right?
Basically, I never have the slightest idea of what is going on in the male mind; their thoughts might as well be in gibberish. After writing this article, I have managed to take whatever knowledge of the male species that I thought I had and throw it out the window. Now I know that the harder I try to understand guys, the more confused I get.
Do parents treat boys and girls differently? (Oct. ’01)
He Said by Michael Ansara
Being a first generation Arab-American, the conditions I live under, and the way I am treated by my parents, seem radically different than what I normally see in similar Arab-American homes. My parents do not treat me any differently than they do my sisters. I am the youngest of four children in my family, and my siblings are all older girls. From my childhood, I can remember my dad always saying how Michael will be treated exactly the same as his sisters. I am very thankful for that, because children learn from their parents, and I would not want to be known as a person who treats boys differently than girls. That way of thinking seems “old fashioned” to me. The unique thing about my situation is that my grandparents, on both sides, are very set in their beliefs as to what roles each gender should play. I don’t understand where my parents learned their way of thinking about how to raise their family, but I love it! And their approach has had a direct influence on my immediate family. When my uncle first came from overseas he tended to be very strict towards girls and more open to boys. For instance, when guys would call for my girl cousin, my uncle would have a heart attack. But, when girls called for my boy cousin, it was just fine to my Uncle and he would not ever mention it. However, because of the influence of my parents, my cousins now share the same privilege that my sisters have always shared with me. My parents are concerned with who our friends are, but don’t limit who we are able to receive calls from. There has also been a certain trust built up between my parents and my sister and me. When my sisters started to drive, curfew on the weekends was 2:00 a. m. —no later. When I received my drivers license, the curfew was no more strict or lenient. It is, and always has been, 2:00 a.m. – no later. And to this day not one of us has attempted to break it. The only difference I see, if any, in what my parents expect of me in comparison to my sisters, is the length of my hair. Other than that, I can honestly say on behalf of myself and my siblings, that my parents are quite consistent on how they treat us.
She Said by Nicole Ghannam
As I sit here and ponder the above question, I find myself reflecting upon the way my parents treat me in comparison to my brother. I have come to conclude that my parents do not set a double standard in our home. There are seven members in my family. I have three sisters and one brother. My brother is the youngest of the five children. My sisters, as well as myself, help to make sure we are all given equal opportunities. My brother will have all the same privileges and set of standards as my other sisters and I have, with some exceptions.
One might ask, “How do you know that your brother, who is seven years younger, will not have more privileges than you?” The honest answer is, I don’t know! I can say, however, that I do have some privileges my oldest sister Angie did not have. Giving my sister and myself different privileges, I feel doesn’t fall under the category of treating us differently. I think that allowing us different privileges has to do with the ten-year span between us. I understand that during those ten years my parents learned a lot about raising their children, and they figured out what was the best for us. The reason that I brought up the comparison between my sister and me was to relate it to my brother. I know that my brother will be able to do things I wasn’t able to do. My parents aren’t ones to set double standards, but rather are ones who learn; they adjust privileges and set standards that they think are necessary. I, like my parents, do not believe in double standards. Granted, boys and girls are very different (sugar and spice and all that good stuff), but I feel that although our activities may not be the same, the basis of our life and the morals we have, should be the same. Just like the Church has set standards for us to follow so that we may lead a life which is pleasing to God, our homes should be set up in a similar way, one that is set on a Christian way of life.
After stating my thoughts and my experience, I am pleased to say that my parents do not treat boys differently than they do girls. I feel that we should all forget about double standards and live the kind of life God would like to see us live… one that is set on His standards.
Should women be allowed to serve at the altar? (Dec. ’01)
He Said by Denny Bojrab
Should women be able to serve at the altar? "Oh boy" was my reaction. Should I be liberal or follow what my grandfather had taught me -- how should I base my opinion? I turned to Scripture and tradition to come to a decision.
Tradition of the Church and Scripture are very important in the Orthodox faith. For Orthodox Christians, there are two important parts of the Church, the clergy and the laity. As in the living body, the mind cannot survive without the heart and other internal organs; the living Church cannot survive without the synergy between the clergy and the laity.
Jesus chose men as His disciples and gave to them leadership roles in teaching and spreading the faith. As they went from region to region, they began churches and ordained "espiscopoi" or bishops to remain in the region and teach The Word to the people. Priests and deacons were then ordained and taught the liturgical service so that cities and villages could hear The Word. Throughout the Divine Liturgy, the priests and deacons needed helpers, and so the natural development of altar servers began. It was the hope that these altar servers would learn and desire to become deacons or priests as they matured in faith and became older. The clergy lead the Divine Liturgy, prepare the Sacraments, and deliver the teachings of Scripture. It is important to remember that the liturgical services have chanters and the choir who help in the celebration. Women are invited to participate and in fact frequently lead these activities.
I believe that more people need to understand that there are two different and equally important parts of the Church, the clergy and the laity. The laity involves all the other people of the Christian community. The function and importance of the laity have greatly increased over the years. The choir and chanting of the service is an integral part of the liturgy. The church board and various committees keep the church alive with important decisions on the direction and financial support of the church. The Sunday School system is important for teaching children about the life of the Church. Women play an active and increasingly expanding role in all of these activities.
I can definitely see why women would like to be altar servers, because beyond tradition, there is no reason that women should not be able to serve. After all, the two people who came to care for Jesus' body in the tomb were women. I personally do not think that it is important for women to be behind the altar. There are many other equally important ways for women to serve the Church. One example of the laity is the choir. Just imagine your typical Sunday service and how it sounds with the choir singing songs of praise. Now recall how great all the songs sounded and the message of what they sing. Now take away all the women ... not really pretty is it? I think that women who want to be altar servers need to consider this: while the service depends on help from altar boys, think of church without a good sounding choir, a women's society, or Sunday School teachers. Actually, when you step back, you will probably realize that all the jobs are equally important in their own ways. Serving the Church and Christ does not happen just behind the altar.
You will always have some women who want to be able to serve at the altar, and there will always be the traditionalists saying that only men should be able to. We all need to realize that there are many different ways to help run the church service and that not one is any more important than any other. While sometimes tradition is hard to break, I think that we all should be open to other ideas.
For me, I see the mind and the heart as needing each other for the purpose of the body to survive. And I see the clergy and laity needing each other to survive for eternal life through Jesus Christ our Savior.
She Said by Deena Ideh
Every church throughout the world has a different way of conducting its services. Each church has different beliefs, rituals, and customs. Some churches have men and women serving at the altar and some just have men. I believe that women should not be allowed to serve at the altar.
Women should not be allowed to serve at the altar for several reasons. First, we have always known that men serve at the altar and not women. We do not know what it’s like for a woman to serve at the altar. Yet another reason is both men and women go to the seminary. However, women go to an academy or boarding school to learn to become nuns and men go to the seminary to educate themselves for the ministry or priesthood. In the Orthodox Church, women cannot be priests. So why should they go to serve in the altar when they cannot be priests? They can’t!
Have you ever noticed what the priest does when a couple has a baby and the baby is baptized? What does the priest do differently for boys and girls? The baby boys are taken into the altar to be blessed and the baby girls are blessed in front of the altar. Even at that young age, girls are not allowed to go into the altar. If they are not first allowed to go into the altar, how are they going to be able to serve at the altar later? They won’t.
In conclusion, there are many differences between men and women. Men appear to have more rights and authority when it comes to church. While this may not be the best of conditions, I still believe for the reasons mentioned above that women should not be allowed to serve at the altar.
Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex and why? (Mar. ’02)
He Said by Steve Martin
Would I want the chance to be of the opposite sex? The answer would definitely be NO! I'm proud to say that I am very happy with being a man. While there’s only one other choice, the reasons for being happy to be a man are numerous. Here are some, just to mention a few.
First of all, girls are just too sensitive. Anytime someone says something to a girl, he must be very careful or he might end up hurting her feelings. For example, you joke with a girl about her weight and she starts complaining that you're calling her fat.
There’s also the fun time of having a girl ask your opinion on something. Take the classic “How do I look?” line — sometimes there’s just no right answer. If you agree, she thinks you’re lying. If you disagree, there’s for sure going to be a conflict. Sometimes even remaining SILENT will get a guy in trouble. Having feelings is definitely a good thing, but taking everything so seriously and being oversensitive is definitely a negative.
The next issue is getting ready. I know we all can agree that when it comes to getting ready for something, girls just take FOREVER. Guys throw on a baseball cap, and they’re ready to go. Girls, on the other hand, have to spend hours in the shower, putting on their makeup, curling their hair, and choosing the perfect outfit to wear. And it doesn’t stop there. Not only do they take all the time to prepare, but just think of all the energy they use to maintain what they’ve done. I mean, heaven forbid a gust of wind should come! Then they have to go and do it all again!
Finally, babies, babies, BABIES! Guys, can you imagine carrying a baby for nine months?! I couldn't! Enough said. Ladies, we will just leave it all up to you. You all look better carrying them anyway.
It's just so much fun being a guy. We get to do more things than girls. We get to play football and other full contact sports. Men’s basketball is so much more exciting than women’s. Guys dunk while girls just throw the ball and foul each other. Besides, guys are stronger and faster than girls. Guy things are much cooler than girls’. Ladies, just face it, you all know we have an advantage being a guy and if you could, you KNOW you would be a guy, too.
She Said by Diana Saada
Well, that's a very good question. I'm not going to lie and say no; many times I've wished I was a guy. I think every girl has wished she was a guy at one point, especially when it comes to getting ready to go somewhere. The hair, make-up, clothes and everything else just take forever. Guys don't worry about all that stuff; they can just wear whatever. Most of the time they don't care if they keep wearing the same things! Guys do make fun of us girls when we wear the same outfit twice a week. Every time I go to work I wish I were a guy. At my job they expect me to dress nicely, like church clothes. It gets expensive and wearing heels and standing on my feet for five hours isn't exactly comfortable. If I were a guy I could just throw on some khakis, any shirt, put some gel in my hair and I'm ready to go! Shopping for guys is much easier. I love buying clothes but I hate shopping because it takes forever! We have to get the matching accessories and the perfect size pants and all that complicated stuff.
But if you look at the REAL picture, girls are DA BOMB. We have more fun than guys. They need to get a life — all they think about is women, football, who fought with whom, and sleep. We have more than just that, we have a LIFE!
Well, my real answer to the question (not just my being lazy answer) is "No, I don't wish to be the opposite sex." I'm very happy to be what I am. I personally think that girls take everything seriously. If I were a guy, I would feel very sorry for my sister because then she would have to deal with two brothers. We have one brother and thank God we don't have more. We're barely able to handle him in the house! Well, I guess sometimes we wish we were the opposite sex and all that stuff. But deep down, I'm very thankful for what God has given me. He wanted me to be a girl so I am one. He wanted Steve to be a guy so he is one. It's all His will and we are very thankful.