How do you get over someone? (Jun. ’02)
He Said by Elias Fanous
How do you get over someone? A question for the ages... well, maybe. At any rate this question is an important one. Sometimes getting over someone can be easy and other times it can be quite difficult. It depends on how long you were with that someone. If it was a short relationship, it will probably be easier. However, with the time, effort, and emotion invested in a long relationship, it’s considerably more challenging. You begin to think that the person may be the one. It would be nice to be able to say, “It wasn’t meant to be,” and to move on with your daily routine. However, after a long relationship, it’s not that easy. You can’t just pick up and move on, because whether you know it or not, there will always be that part of you saying, “I miss her.” You start to notice how all the little things around you seem to remind you of that person, from songs on the radio to common landmarks in your area. It leaves you wondering if you will ever get over that person.
It’s a daunting task, but it can be done. I have found that immersing yourself with those closest to you helps jump-start the healing process. Being around those you love and those you know love you always helps. Also, talk to your priest – that’s what he’s there for. Tell him what’s going on in your life, and he will do his best to help you. Don’t be afraid that your priest will look at you in a different way. Confiding in my priest has helped me in so many ways; I know I wouldn’t be the same without him.
Writing is another way to get over someone. Write a poem, write a song, or just write in a journal. Guys, it’s ok to have a journal.
Finally, when the time is right, get back into the swing of things. Like the saying goes, “Get back on the horse even after it throws you off.” The best way to get over someone is to move on and date again.
When it comes down to it, each and every one of us is different in our own ways and we all deal with things differently. To each his own. When you really care, getting over someone is and always will be a difficult task. There is no one way to do it. Just look deep inside yourself, speak to God, and ultimately you will find the right path.
She Said by Hiba Hadshiti
This is a question that almost everyone has to deal with sometime in their lives. To be able to get over someone is very hard, especially when you’ve been in a long, honest, and loving relationship. Everyone has his/her own point of view on how to get over someone, but as Orthodox Christians we have to look at it in a special way.
“Getting over someone” is perhaps putting it too simply; “accepting the fact that the relationship wasn't meant to be” might be better. As Orthodox Christians, we must not “get over it” and move on. As stated in Matthew 5:23-24, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” In this passage, Jesus is telling us that we should never have hate towards anyone. Without love and forgiveness, we cannot all commune with one another as God intends.
In an Orthodox Christian relationship, we hopefully grow together as brothers and sisters in Christ, not as boyfriends and girlfriends. In doing this, we should never find ourselves having to get over anything. To concern ourselves with such things is foolish, for God tells us not to worry, because he tells us in Matthew 6:32-34 that our heavenly Father knows what we need. We must “first seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be” given to us. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
We must realize that God is the most important person in our lives. We have Him, and we always will. We should know that Christ offers us more love than anyone could ever offer us, and that through Him, everything is possible. We should seek comfort by fellowshipping with our brothers and sisters in Christ, going to church, and talking about the situation to make us feel better.
No matter what happens between the two of you, you should never hate one another, for the Lord tells us in Matthew 5:43-45, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven….” This passage is telling us not to hate anyone. Instead of going out and thinking bad thoughts of the person, try to think good things and accept that it wasn't meant to be; try to become friends through Christ.
All in all, there are many different ways to get over different situations. Each situation will ultimately be resolved according to its circumstances and the people who are involved. However, no matter what happens, we should always look to Jesus Christ as our Savior, protector, and helper through any situation. When you’re struggling, always trust in God to get you through.