Life Out There (Depression)
by Nadia Lawand (Apr. ’02)
“Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow.” This Swedish proverb illustrates the topic of my article perfectly. In the past few years I have become increasingly aware of a common problem among people my age. The problem is depression. Unfortunately our society assumes that depression is an adult problem because teens don’t have any stress. Newsflash! Teens have much stress and pressure in this day and age — enough to cause depression.
First of all let’s just clarify what depression is. Depression can be defined as an emotional state where there are extreme feelings of sadness, rejection, lack of worth, and emptiness. There is such a thing as being in a depressed mood and then there is clinical depression, which is completely different. We can all get into a depressed mood sometimes due to a death, failure, rejection, and other losses. Clinical depression on the other hand is more severe — it lasts more than a couple of weeks, and the sad times greatly outnumber the happy times.
I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know specifics – but I can share my experiences. About a year ago, one of my good friends began to show signs of depression. She had always been an amazing student, worked hard, was excited about life, and had so many ambitions. Throughout the school year she started to change. She didn’t talk about her private life anymore; she was moody, she lost her motivation, she dropped out of school and she started to have selfdestructive thoughts. Not everything was obvious right away, but it was clear that she was alone and needed help. A lot of her friends stepped back from her, including me. We thought she had changed for the worse and didn’t want to be around her. Unfortunately, that left her with nobody to talk to. I realized that she was going through a hard time and that she didn’t have anyone, so I told her I was there for her. I didn’t push it, but I talked to her more, made sure she was all right and told her that I would be there is she did decide that she wanted to talk. One day in the summer, she called me up in a panic and asked me to come and pick her up at her house. She said she could no longer be in the house with her parents and was going to check herself into a place where she could get help. Since then she has been getting better although every day is a struggle. I thank God that she was able to open up finally and seek help.
Depression comes in so many forms that it can sometimes be hard to recognize. We all fall sometimes, and we all need others to help us up again. It is a human instinct that we have: when we see someone is not feeling so great, we need to act on it. When it comes to depression, it is important to show that you’re there for them. You shouldn’t try to cheer them up, because it will probably make them feel worse. Also don’t tell a depressed person that you feel the same, because you don’t. They have unique feelings that are making them upset, and you have to simply be there to listen to them. Be patient with them, and don’t get angry. When we see someone going through depression we need to pray for them and support them. Most of all, don’t forget about yourself. It can be hard dealing with someone who is depressed because we tend to get down ourselves. So keep things in perspective.
There are so many things I learned from my friend, but the main thing is that we all need a shoulder to cry on. Some people have nobody. As Christians, we need to open our hearts to those who need us. Whether it is your friend, a stranger, or an enemy, shared sorrow is still half sorrow.