Can guys and girls still be friends after a relationship ends? (Jan. '01)
He Said by Michael Pier
Well… one of the first things that comes to mind when I think about being friends with a girl after a break-up are the circumstances that were a part of or caused the break-up. Obviously people who have gone through break-ups know that they can be very emotional and painful. Someone usually gets hurt, but the Bible teaches us that we are to forgive everyone no matter what they have done to us.
From personal experience, I can tell you all that this is one of the hardest things to uphold about our faith. The last relationship that I was in, I found that my girlfriend had been cheating on me, and I was so angry when I found out. I didn't want to talk to her again or even see her again I was so hurt. It took me a long time to even say a kind word to her, and even today it is hard to be nice, because I think of how my trust was betrayed, and how it felt when I found out. But I do my best to be courteous to her, and I find that it gives a certain closure to the situation.
I feel that God has made this thing called "forgiveness" so that we can bring completion to all situations in our life. I feel that girls and guys can still be friends after a relationship, but there can be a certain gap of time before they can completely come together and get over whatever caused the break-up.
She Said by Jane S.
I strongly believe that guys and girls can be friends after a relationship ends.
There are two types of relationships: one that is based around superficial aspects, or solely physical attraction, the other one based around God and the teachings and morals of the Church. The second relationship, is not always easier, but is truly the right one. If you have a relationship based around God, there is no reason that the two of you cannot be friends if it ends.
You, as an Orthodox Christian and teenager in today's society, are to set an example to those not fortunate enough to know what is right or wrong. You are called to be a disciple of Christ, and to let other know that. In a quote that many of you know quite well, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ said in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you have love for one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Holding a grudge against someone, even if you feel hurt, conveys the message that you are not concerned about being a disciple of Christ. It also shows that you are lacking forgiveness in your heart. Ephesians 4:32 states: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
I hope that through the teachings of our Lord, and through the Scriptures you see how important it is that you have forgiveness for someone after a relationship ends. It is ultimately the Christian thing to do.