A Sister’s Wedding
by Lillian Saad (Feb. ’02)
I love weddings. I love the fact that two people have found each other in this vast world. And I think it is one of the most beautiful events that can occur in life. I was blessed to go on a trip to Lebanon this past summer. Not just any trip though, it was my sister's wedding. On June 10, 2001, my family departed from Wichita, Kansas, for the wedding of my oldest sister in Balamand, Lebanon. We had seven days to get ready for the wedding. Thank God for the grooms family in Lebanon, who did most of the work before we got there. It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended. (I may be biased though, seeing how the bride is my sister.) I’m sure that even if she wasn't related to me I would still have to say that the wedding was out of some story-book.
In Lebanon, there are many wedding traditions that I had to learn about. Two days before the wedding, the groom's family puts on a formal party and almost everyone who is invited to the wedding itself is present. It is more like a hafleh (celebration), but trust me, in Lebanon, it is even more fun. It was a beautiful night with music, dancing, a mesa of food, and, of course, cutting the cake. The night before the wedding the bride's family throws a party. But because we had a whole week's worth of tiresome planning and preparations, we opted to go out to a nice restaurant right on the Mediterranean. Little did we know that after eleven this restaurant has an open dance floor! And having Arab-dancing blood running through our veins... we just had to dance. We took over the dance floor; it was a beautiful evening.
On the wedding day, everybody got up and ate breakfast. The hairdressers and the bride’s family came around noon to help us prepare for the big day that was before us. The groom and the groomsmen were dressing and anxiously anticipating their arrival at the church. The groom’s immediate family went to his house to take pictures and prepare to escort the bride to the church. Around 2:00 p.m the photographer came to take pictures of the not-so-ready bride and her immediate family. Needless to say, we were running on an “Arab time schedule.” The groom’s immediate family arrived around 4:00 p.m. to take some photographs with the bride and her family. At 5:00 p.m. the fathers escorted the bride out of her house and into the limo for the journey to the Balamand Monastery. We arrived around 5:45 p.m. and saw a massive crowd.
Before entering the church, the bride is escorted by both her father and the groom’s father to meet her future husband. Here the fathers greet the bride and the groom with a kiss, and the bride’s father places her hand in the hands of her soon-to-be husband. This symbolizes the fathers’ uniting their children and their acceptance of their marriage. Inside, the church was so full that there was barely any room for anyone to sit. The icons on the altar were so breathtaking with their Byzantine appearance, and the aisle was decorated with several arches of assorted white flowers which added to the beauty of the church. There is a very wonderful event in traditional Orthodox weddings in which the bride, groom, and priest untie a bow at the back of the church. This symbolizes the couple beginning their life together in the church. While chanting and censing, the priest then leads the bride and groom to the altar for the ceremony. One fact about the wedding ceremony that I was not aware of: the priest is the one to put the ring on the bride’s hand, not her husband. This represents the fact that Christ is the one who unites the man and woman in this sacred bond. Kissing is not permitted in the church; at the end of the ceremony my brother-in law laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. Once they were out of the church they kissed, and he carried her to the patio. After about half an hour of more pictures we all got into the limousine and headed over to the Octagon, a very nice restaurant in the secluded mountainous region of northern Lebanon, only a short 20- minute drive from Balamand University and church. When we arrived, we formed a line of immediate family and wedding party members, greeting each and every guest who attended. I have never kissed so many people in my life! It must have taken at least an hour for everyone to arrive and go through the line. Next was the delicious mesa of food that was prepared for the cocktail party. I say mesa because I have never seen anything so beautiful. In Lebanon, artists like to embellish everything! Whether they are chefs or designers, everything has to be extravagant and beautiful. There were boats of meat pies, and towers of baklava, and some food that I had never seen before but that tasted great. My sister and her husband used a sword to cut the cake. It looked like so much fun. It was a storybook wedding, and I can only pray to find a love as wonderful as theirs.
SO... is this to say that the only way a man and woman can get married is with an extravagant wedding with all the bells and whistles? Or is this to say that a wedding must be “fairy-tale”-like to really count? By all means NO. However, a man and a woman joining together is a beautiful event which should be celebrated to its fullest. This does not mean that we should become gluttons who are filled with drunkenness. But it does call for us to celebrate a union which has been given and blessed by God. In Ecclesiastes 3:1, we read “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” If the joining together of a man and a woman to make one life, one sacrifice before God, is not reason to celebrate, than what is?
In today’s society, especially here in America, weddings and marriages outside the Church have become more of a spectacle than a sacrament. Movie stars, for example, get married while dangling from helicopters or while skiing down a ski slope. Sure there may be celebrations and festivities, but is there the JOY that can only come from Christ being the bond? Marriage, just like the ring, should be unending. It’s not just one day to show off your pretty dress and cake to the world. On the contrary, the cup of marriage includes BOTH joys and sorrows. This is quite often lost in our present-day way of life.
By all means a wedding should be celebrated to the fullest, for it is a wonderful event with the person God has given you. However, without the love and unity which only Christ can give, all the flowers, the dancing, and delicious food are only empty representations. It is the bond of Christ which truly unifies! This is what I felt at my sister’s wedding, and this is what I hope to feel at mine someday.