A Dangerous Combination
by Amanda Kaufman (Sep. ‘01)
Your best friend flakes out on the plans you have had all week. Your history teacher screams at your classmate for talking, when the actual chatterbox sits three seats back, not getting in any trouble at all. A close friend passes away unexpectedly. Your response? Anger. While sins of action, such as stealing or physically injuring another person, are relatively easy to avoid, changing our emotional reactions can be more difficult. Obviously, anger can cause us to knowingly say and do things we otherwise would not. It’s okay to be angry as long as we don’t let it affect our actions, right? Wrong. Anger is about more than how we act and react. The source of the anger matters most. Often, anger results from our pride and selfishness.
In canceling your plans, your best friend did not consider your needs. Your angry reaction is, “This is not what I want. This does not make me happy.” When the teacher wrongly accuses your classmate, you think, “That’s not what I would do,” instead of considering the frustrated teacher’s point of view. By incorrectly assuming that everyone does -- or that everyone should -- feel, need, and want the same things that you do is prideful, pointless, and self-defeating.
Pride fosters anger in less obvious situations as well. Because we can see our anger hurting our friends, we try to be patient and kind. But, because we cannot see our anger hurting God, we might not try to be as patient with Him. The tragic loss of a loved one or even just a run of bad luck in your life can leave you feeling angry with God. We’ve all had miserable days when we ask, “God, why me?” Here comes pride again, sneaking up on you. When Jesus Christ was afraid and praying before His crucifixion, He prayed, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39). When you get angry with God, remind yourself that you are God’s servant. Your duty is to please God, Who loves you and protects you but might not always give you what you want. To avoid getting angry, we should say to God, “Not my will, but Thy will be done.” When our pride causes us to put our own desires ahead of God’s will, we feel angry and dejected. Let your pride give way to humility, accept God’s will, and participate in His plan.
Once you begin to feel angry, calming yourself down can be extremely difficult. Instead, stop the anger before it begins by attacking the sin behind the anger: pride. When you feel yourself getting heated up, say silently or aloud, “Anger comes from pride,” and take a moment to find the source of your pride. When you get introspective and work on your own faults and shortcomings, other people’s actions will matter less to you, and anger will be the furthest feeling from your heart.