Saturday, January 22, 2005
The Holy Apostle Timothy
2nd Vespers Holy Monastic: Wisdom 5 :15-6:3 Epistle: 2 Timothy 1:3-9
Gospel: St. Matthew 18:32-33, 37-38; 19:27-30
St. Matthew 18:32-33, 37-38; 19:27-30, especially vss. 32, 33: "Therefore whoever
confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men,
him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven." At ordinations, as a candidate is vested, the Bishop invites us to
affirm along with him that "He is worthy! Axios! He is worthy!" In today's Gospel, the Lord delineates between some
who are worthy and others who are "not worthy." Those who confess Christ before men are worthy of the Lord's
confession before His Father in heaven (vs. 10:32). Those who deny Him before men, He will deny before His Father in
heaven (vs. 10:33), for they are unworthy. Similarly, whoever places love for parents or children above love for Christ is
unworthy (vs. 10:37). Any who avoid the cross in life and will not follow Christ to the cross, are not worthy of Him (vs.
10:38). Conversely, those, like Peter and the Apostles, who placed Christ above everything and everyone in order to follow
Him are worthy (vss. 19:27-29). However, deciding who truly is applying these standards may confound us, so that we
should be cautious about judging worthiness and unworthiness from evidence that "meets the eye" (vs. 19:30).
Given that appearances of worthiness and unworthiness are deceptive (vs. 19:30), still some questions naturally arise as we
consider this selection of verses: 1) What constitutes confessing and denying Christ before men? 2) How does one assess,
for himself - much less on behalf of others - whether one's love of family or love of Christ predominates? 3) What tests or
measures determine whether one is worthy of Christ? 4) Who determines one's worthiness or unworthiness before God
and the likelihood of one inheriting eternal life? The most obvious healthy response to questions such as these is great
caution.
We veer dangerously close to presumption with respect to God's prerogative in the matter of judgment that underlies all
these questions. Nevertheless, Christ our God has given us some measures for our meditation, to consider on bended knee
before Him.
With respect to the first question, the Church provides us with the martyrs, confessors, heretics and apostates as sharply
defined examples of confessing and denying. In the case of the worthy martyrs and confessors, they stood up to the test
before men when the moment of truth came. These chose punishment, abuse, and even death in order to be counted as
Christ's own. Many of us have not been put to tests as definitely as were the Saints, nor so clearly denied our Lord as did
those dubbed as heretics and apostates. We muddle through, go to confession, and keep trying to be faithful in doing God's
will by means of our decisions and actions.
Secondly, it is difficult to assess the state of one's heart or what is our deepest love. The answers come to us most often in
our failures. Occasionally, in moments of clarity before tough choices and risky actions, we discern something of the
interplay of our allegiances. In such times of real decision, what can we do but cry out, Lord Jesus, give me light and grace
to do that which is pleasing to Thee. "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!" (Mk. 9:24).
Application of the standard of the cross surely is a touchstone of true commitment to the Lord Jesus. Peter and the other
disciples "left all and followed" up to the cross (Mt. 19:27). Only one betrayed Christ. Peter denied Him and wept. Most
fled. Yet they reassembled and the risen Lord filled them with His Spirit. Let us keep praying never to give the kiss of
betrayal!
God knows the secrets of all hearts and all our weaknesses; and He still loves us enough to die for us. Be not dismayed.
He will not forget our labors of love for Him at the Judgment. Have mercy upon me and forgive my transgressions both
voluntary and involuntary, of word and of deed, of knowledge and of ignorance, and make me worthy of Thy Holy
Mysteries.
