Christ’s Life As A Pattern For Our Own Family Life
by V. Rev. George Alberts
Word Magazine, April 1996
The role that the family plays in our society seems to have diminished over time. There have been many studies conducted, theories proposed, and suggestions given as to what effect this change has had on us as a society. The family for us in the Orthodox Church is of great importance, but to the world around us, it seems that it is becoming almost a thing of the past. We view the family as a sacred institution and basis for the Church, while society views it as an archaic, crumbling, constantly changing structure to be continuously rethought, reshaped, redefined and changed to meet the “needs” of the times. It is at this point that the Church once again comes into conflict with the World!
I teach a class at a local community college entitled “Marriage and Family.” There are two things that I find both interesting and disturbing at the same time. The first is that each year the textbook is changed “to keep up with the changing family.” There are long lists of family types ranging from the basic nuclear family of the past, which is a standard in the eyes of the Church, to all kinds of new and redefined family types which we are strongly encouraged to accept. Each new textbook seeks to legitimate, validate and justify these diverse family types. What is being said or taught is basically this: Anything and everything goes when it comes to the family and if you don’t accept this, you are a narrow-minded bigot who has no sense of fairness.
This leads to the second point that is also frightening, disturbing and sad, and that is that we are not only being taught this, but we are also beginning to believe and accept it. Our young people are being taught these falsehoods as truths by their schools and by the media as well. We find that our young and old alike today are accepting them as truths even to the point of challenging the teachings of the Church by arguing that the Church is somehow bigoted and lacks moral fairness. After all, “Aren’t we supposed to accept everyone and all lifestyles?”
On the other hand, the Church uses different textbooks. They are the Bible and the writings of the Church Fathers and Saints. They tell us what is and what is not acceptable and they never change with the times. By simply looking at the life of Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself we can gain a basic outline of these teachings and relationships.
Mary the Mother of God was a young pregnant teenager when she was betrothed to Joseph. She had some hard choices to make. She said “yes” to God and His plan for salvation despite the personal hardships she knew she would have to endure. She did not choose to end the pregnancy by abortion even though abortion was practiced at that time, a fact that college textbooks fail to mention by the way. As for Joseph, he too could have taken the easy way out and left Mary when he discovered her pregnancy. Instead, he took on the responsibility of being betrothed to Mary and becoming the foster father of Jesus Christ.
We later hear about Mary’s visit with Elizabeth who was also pregnant at the time. The. Gospel tells us that John the Baptist, who was a developing fetus in the womb of Elizabeth, leaped for joy having come into the presence of the Messiah who Himself was growing in the womb of Mary. The pre-natal relationship between Jesus and John had already been established.
We also hear in the Gospel the interesting story of Jesus at the age of about twelve years old. It is the only story of His childhood found in the gospels. We see him in the temple conversing with the elders. He preached to them, discussed scripture with them and even stayed with them after Mary and Joseph left. They assumed He was with the extended family of relatives and friends with whom they had traveled, but when He was not found, they returned to search for Him, finding Him in the temple after three days. Did they forbid Him from coming to the temple again? Did He argue with them and refuse to leave? No! The Gospel tells us that He was obedient to them and went back to Nazareth.
Later as He began His ministry, we see Jesus and His mother at a marriage in Cana of Galilee. There Jesus seemed to be involved with the festivities and His friends when His mother asked Him to do something about the wine shortage. We see Him become a little upset with His mother, but still He did as she asked and changed the water into wine performing His first miracle.
And finally we see Christ at the end of His earthly life hanging upon the cross. One of the last things that He does is provide for the care of His mother. He tells His disciple John to care for her until her passage from this earthly life.
What does this tell us about the family? What guidelines are we given from the life of Christ which often conflict with those of our society today? First of all it tells us that abortion is wrong! The fetus is a living, active, responsive human being not a mere blob of tissue. It tells us that foster parents can be loving and accepting of their foster children even if they are not their biological parents. We should not take the easy way out of difficult situations but rather seek God’s help and guidance and accept His will.
Second, we learn that we should encourage our children’s participation in their Church and not be upset with their being in Church too much or being involved with Church activities. Instead, we should be happy that they are doing “their Father’s bidding.” It also shows us that as a Church we should be an “extended family” for all of our parishioners. The Church family is more than husband, wife and children. It should include the Godparents, “aunts and uncles”, “brothers and sisters”, “sons and daughters” in Christ.
Third it shows that our children should be obedient and respectful towards their parents no matter how old they are themselves. They should always love them, care for them, respect them, and even indulge them once in a while.
Finally, it shows that just as our parents have cared for us when we were young, we must also care for them when they are old. As Christ provided for His mother, so too must we provide for our parents.
The Holy Fathers and Saints of the Church reaffirm these teachings and Church tradition upholds them calling the family a small church in itself. What we do in our families affects the Church as a whole, and what we do in our Church affects the family. We as Orthodox Christians cannot afford to accept the modern textbook false definition of the family as fact. Instead we must accept the definitions given to us by Holy Scripture, the Church Fathers and Saints, our Holy Tradition. We must not only accept it, but we must also teach it, preach it, believe it and live it, and if we do, we will find our true calling as the sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father.
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Gregory the Theologian
January 25
Troparion of St Gregory the Theologian Tone 1
The shepherd's pipe of thy theology conquered the philosophers' trumpets; for since thou didst search out the depths of the Spirit, beauty of speech was added to thee. Intercede with Christ our God that our souls may be saved, O Father Gregory.
